How To Get Hard After Drinking

John Cuneo

There's no magic recipe, and I'm not Rachael Ray. This kind of wisdom can only be attained through hard work and dedication, like your father before you and his father before him -- brave men who pounded the pavement, rain or shine, day and night, guzzling gin and jerking off. They didn't dream of coming home empty-handed, and they didn't give up until they got it right. But they don't make men like that anymore. Now everyone just wants pat answers, so I had my intrepid staff speak to at least two doctors of sexual medicine, who offered the expected opinions: no more than one or two drinks for optimum performance, too much alcohol can act as a depressant and inhibit the orgasmic reflex, you're probably a big drunk, etc. Men in Bed author Barbara Keesling, however, understands. A massive binge, she explains, "would cause the, you know, 'I can get an erection forever, but I can't come.' " That sounds like you. That's you all over. So for your next binge, why not consider wine? It has less alcohol per ounce, so you can drink more of it without sacrificing the sophistication that people have come to associate with you. But above all, don't get discouraged and don't ever give up. Remember, today's men have something the greatest generation didn't have: cocaine.

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